Posts
I've decided to step out once again into the world of online dating. I've had most luck with OK Cupid so I am spending a bit more time there now. Funny thing happened there a few days ago. I got a message from the adminstrators of the site telling me that I had recently reached some milestone on the site and I am now declared "attractive!" Apparently this means that a lot of visitors are clicking on my profile based on my picture. That alone seemed strange enough, but to add mystery, they now tell me that they will be presenting me with other attractive matches to contemplate. I know that OKC uses some complex algorithms to make these matches, but I wonder now just how unattractive I was before and who these "ugly" matches I was being connected to were.
Anyway, it doesn't seem to matter much. I still find that age is a major deterrent. By far the majority of women I find "attractive" set their age limit well below my 60 year old age. I get depressed seeing interesting looking possibilities, some of whom are well into their 50's who set age preferences from, oh, say 22-45. I know this is the age of the cougar, but really! 22??
I wish OKC could screen those out from my list of possibilities because honestly, I won't even send a message to anyone who has decided I am too old...I mean, why bother? I'd much rather see only those women who are open to seeing a 60 year old man.
This move back to the hunting ground was triggered by a realization that I have invested far too much of my personal time into a few close female friends who have made it very clear that we are not going to slide between the sheets together. I was at a birthday party this past weekend for one of those friends, someone with whom I have had spent a lot of time with in the past year. We had a sexual fling last summer, but then she hooked up with an old male friend and told me that she didn't want to mess that up by continuing to fuck me. But I like her a lot, yeah...a lot, so I have continued to see her quite regularly but we have become more like brother and sister. Her party slapped me in the face with the reality of her commitment to this other man and made me realize that I was falling into one of my usual patterns of expecting things to change just because I wanted them to.
I look back at my long history of failed relationships and see that one of my most consistent behaviors is to latch onto a fantasy of something that will never be. I can become friends very easily with women. But I am clueless about how to be a lover. The really depressing part of this realization is to see that this has been my pattern since I was a teenager. It is a very deep, very well traveled rut that leads me nowhere. I want to get out of it. I am sick of being a horny, unfulfilled man.Attractive though...OKC has told me so.
(I am forgingahead on OKC if anyone wants to check it out. By the way, for all you cougars among my readership, I am still 22 in my heart! And I do have sufficient stamina and enthusiasm in bed to keep it interesting.)
future prospects
56 minutes ago
Good luck on the dating scene. I know it's got to be so frustrating at times. Here's to making it to the "attractive" status. :)
ReplyDeleteIt troubles me that men and women will overlook a potentially good person because of age or because they don't look like Playboy/Playgirl material. Very shallow. I hope you'll have good luck with the dating. Seems to me you'd be a very good lover.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid this will sound stupid, but I usually read your blog and I can't help thinking how nice it would be to have a hot date with you.
ReplyDeleteAnd, well, I'm just a 20 year old girl...
Well A.S. that is flattering indeed and what man wouldn't be excited to be with a young woman like you? I did see a 26 year escort several times late last year and that was a great boost to my ego (even though it was just a business transaction). I've heard it said that the best way to stay young at heart is to hang out with young people. I do whenever possible. I love the energy and passion.
ReplyDeleteIn the online dating world, however, I stay clear of anyone under about 40. Why? Well, I've found that messaging young women is usually a waste of time. They most likely won't reply.
A few years ago, I was on one the many sex-first web sites and got into a multi day conversation with a girl about your age. She wasn't too far away so we made plans to meet. But as the date came closer she began to say things like, "You're pretty old. I may let you have my ass, but I don't think I can blow you." The day before I was to drive down and get a hotel room, I asked her flat out if she thought she'd show up. She answered, "no." And that was that. At least she saved me the expense of the hotel room that I would have ended up enjoying all by myself.
I think that what attracts me most is exactly the age. I've never been with an older man. I think that older man should be great lovers... I read the post you wrote about a meeting with an escort and I really liked it. It seemed like there was no hurry and you both took your time pleasuring each other. I'd love to experience that someday, as I think that I haven't yet felt that extreme pleasure with anyone.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to confess, older guys... are one of my fantasies :)
Well A.S., that should not be too difficult a fantasy to experience. There are lots of older men, like me, that are feeling shut out by women our own age (which was the point of my post). If you ever get around my way, look me up!
ReplyDelete