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I started this blog with all the good intents of using this medium to explore how my sexuality was developing as I approached 60.
Well, tomorrow (August 10) I reach that venerable age and have to say not much has changed in my life. I remain the same person I have been for many many years. I am still a nice guy that women enjoy spending time with, as a friend. Intimacy eludes me as much today as it did when I was 20, 30, 40, and 50. Yeah, I was married in there for a while, but even for those years, sex was more of an afterthought than a focal point.
I can only come to the conclusion that there is something fundamentally wrong with how I present myself. I have suggested in my posts here that I think my age is a deterrent, but that is only an excuse. In my heart I understand that it is not my age that matters, but somehow I fail to send the proper signals of attraction.
I had mental plans for a profoundly meaningful birthday post, but as the evening lengthens, my muse for writing is just not here.
So here's what I'd like to do. Here's a link to my profile on OK Cupid. I invite any and all of my readers (not sure how many of you are still out there) to visit it, read it, and yes, critique it. What would help to make it send the sorts of warm, fuzzies to you that would make you want to know me? Am I sending "friendship" vibes when I should be sending "sexy" vibes? I haven't updated this for a long time, and it is clearly not working for me.
future prospects
3 hours ago
Hm.. I've been reading for a while and never been moved to comment, but your openness in sharing your profile really struck me. So as a single (separated) woman in her mid-40s ... I am going to points out two things that really stuck out to me about your profile.
ReplyDeleteThere is a question about where would you be on Friday nights and you say you "try" to be social, but most often you find yourself in front of your computer. Now, I'm a computer geek and spend most evenings on the sofa with my laptop and don't see that as a negative, but the way you say it seems to point to your partner quickly becoming a "computer widow". :) Obviously, you don't want to present yourself as a social butterfly and wind up disappointing someone, but don't make it so negative that you spend Fridays at home. Say instead: Usually twice a month you'll find me enjoying the art scene - at First Fridays in Albany or Troy Night Out (last Friday of the month). However, as much as I enjoy being social, I'm also, in truth, a homebody and truly enjoy staying in, cooking dinner, watching a movie, or working on my photography on the computer.
If you can see the difference - one sounds kinda "poor me ... all I do is stay home and sit in front of the computer" and the other is more about the fact that you enjoy your home life and want someone who feels the same.
The other is the "you should message me if" part. Get rid of the whole bit about "if you can carry on a conversation". It sounds snotty. Say instead: If you're the type of person who enjoys in depth conversations about all kinds of subjects. (Or something more open.)
Ok, there you go. The two things I noticed the most. Hope that gives you something to work with! :)
First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
ReplyDeleteSecond, I'll check your profile in the next day or two and see if I have anything to add. Kara has given some excellent advice!
You sound fine from your profile and look handsome. Perhaps there are not many ladies that match your education level? I'd drop the reference to 60 - makes you sound older than you feel! C
ReplyDelete